Warning: Declaration of Walker_Tag::start_lvl(&$output, $depth, $args) should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output, $depth = 0, $args = Array) in /home/ad7rhiw8eac5/public_html/wp-content/plugins/list-tags/list-tags.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of Walker_Tag::end_lvl(&$output, $depth, $args) should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output, $depth = 0, $args = Array) in /home/ad7rhiw8eac5/public_html/wp-content/plugins/list-tags/list-tags.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of Walker_Tag::start_el(&$output, $tag, $depth, $args) should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output, $object, $depth = 0, $args = Array, $current_object_id = 0) in /home/ad7rhiw8eac5/public_html/wp-content/plugins/list-tags/list-tags.php on line 0
Zen Mama Wannabe » death
Zen Mama Wannabee Banner

Nora Ephron Knows

Received one of those email today that gets passed around.  This one was entitled “Buy More Bath Oil,” and was an excerpt written by Nora Ephron.  It must be a chapter from one of her recent books and in her typical fashion it is lovely and funny and oh so true.  But what stuck with this Zen Mama Wannabe the most was when she wrote of the loss of her best friend.  

“My friend Judy died last year. She was the person I told everything to. She was my best friend, my extra sister, my true mother, sometimes even my daughter. She was all these things, and one day she called up to say, the weirdest thing has happened, there’s a lump on my tongue. Less than a year later, she was dead. She was 66 years old. She had no interest in dying, right to the end. She died horribly. And now she’s gone. I think of her every

Read more »

Playing the Numbers Game

I have played the numbers game for years.  85. 68. 72. 91.  These numbers may not mean anything to most people, but for over half my life they were a measure of my own good fortune.  I would read in the newspaper that a woman died at age 72, and up until recently my mom was still alive at 90.  Ok…deep breath…we’re doing okay.

Now my mom is gone – and I have the audacity to feel cheated.  Living to 90 is having a good long run (and my mom certainly did).  In that respect she was blessed and I am thankful.  The fallout of having a child late in life, however, is that most people MY age have parents who are currently in their 60’s.  Assuming all goes well, they are looking at having their parents around for another 20-30 years!

I feel too young to have lost both parents – cheated out of years most everyone else my …

Read more »

The Bougainvillea Plant

*** Hope ***

My lovely bougainvillea plant died the same time my mother did.  Coincidence perhaps?  Not to me.  Most people know I share Wayne Dyer’s view that there are no coincidences in the universe. One might insist the plant died because we were in Europe for 2 weeks and not home to water and care for it.  But I saw it differently.

Where healthy green branches and vibrant colored petals had been, now there were only brown shriveled up sticks and crumpled paper leaves. Every time I crawled in and out of bed and looked out my bedroom window, I was reminded of death and loss, both on a simple and deeper level.

I had been so proud of that bougainvillea and how it had been flourishing.  In Southern California, bougainvilleas seem to grow all over the place.  I have always loved them – their beautiful colors, how they make me think of a tropical vacation and plenty of …

Read more »

Aftermath of a Crisis

“I don’t love you anymore

I don’t think I ever did…”

–  from Eurythmics “Don’t Ask Me Why”

I have always loved that part in the Eurythmics song that got massive airplay back in the 90’s on radio stations everywhere.   It was such an “in your face” kind of comment, the type someone who is REALLY hurting says, and I had been that person really hurting from a relationship that had crashed and burned, so yeah, I felt I could relate.  Annie Lennox always sang it so well, with just the right amount of emotion and scorn, as only a person who had really experienced it could do.  I remember feeling as if she and I were soul sisters of sorts, honorary members of the same club.

Those two lines popped in my head again as I read “This is Not the Story You Think It Is” – a novel written by a mom of 2 that I …

Read more »

The UPS Delivery

UPSWe got a phone message from UPS early this morning saying they would be delivering a package today that required a signature.  I was surprised: I hadn’t ordered anything (lately) and since when did UPS call you first to tell you about a delivery?  Ooh – a package, a package! And one you had to sign for too.  My kids were jumping up and down.  We all couldn’t wait to find out who was sending us a Christmas present.  A few hours went by before it hit me; I suddenly realized what the package was – and being home to receive it was the last thing I wanted to do.

I know what the package is, I told husband.  The one being delivered today that we have to sign for and that they called ahead time about.  It’s Remy.

You see when a pet dies, you have several burial options – and yes, you’re hit with these things …

Read more »

How Do You Heal a Broken Heart?

RemyHeart“You know how it feels?”  My 8-year old son finally put it into words. “Like my heart has cracked in two, and a piece of it is now gone.”

Yes, I know.  I feel the same.

We lost a member of our family over the Thanksgiving weekend – our dear sweet Remy – who will always be remember by us simply as the best dog in the world.  She was 14, and as I’ve mentioned before, had been with me longer than my children OR my husband.  She was such a special dog – and in her quiet, unassuming way was such a big part of our family – and now she’s gone.

“We must have done something REALLY bad,” my son announced before he crawled into bed that night.  “Because when you do good, good things come back to you.  Since this is a bad thing….” he paused.   “Oh no, no!” I quickly corrected him.  “That doesn’t

Read more »

How do you Say Good-bye?

I got word that one of my aunts is not doing very well.  Okay, let’s be blunt (although I choke on the words): she is dying.  She was a big part of my life growing up and a wonderful lady – then and now.  I was fortunate to get to talk to her briefly on the phone yesterday.  As I dialed the phone, I knew this would be the last time I would hear her voice.  And part of me couldn’t help but wonder…how do you say good-bye – when you know it really will be a final good-bye?

Her voice sounded surprisingly strong and she made reference to her situation.  She said she was tired and something to the effect of just waiting for it to happen, for her to depart.  And I can’t help but feel I was offered an opportunity there and I blew it.  She was being honest, and instead of meeting her with the same …

Read more »

Do Celebrity Tragedies Affect You?

Do you pay attention to the celebrity headlines that often fill TV, magazines and the web?  Do you ever hear of something that causes you to feel such dismay or sorrow that it is as if you were hearing about your own family member?  Is it human nature to feel this way – or has the media taken on an overactive role in putting these people in front of us and manipulating our emotions?  How do you feel?

It filled me with great sadness this morning when I saw the headline: Body in SUV Believed to be Hudson’s Nephew.  By the time you read this, it will undoubtedly be known if in fact the boy found is Jennifer Hudson’s nephew – but right now, things are not looking good.  Here is a young woman (age 27) who because of her mother’s urging went on American Idol and got discovered.  She went on to star in the 2007 hit movie …

Read more »