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Shocking News (A Year of Change – Part 1)

With heavy hearts, my husband and I are going to sit down with our kids tonight and tell them what will be very shocking news.  No matter that this is as common as ever in our country, no matter that they personally know at least a handful of kids who have recently experienced this, no matter that we are doing this for all the “right” reasons, they are going to be shocked, heart broken and dismayed (and that’s just for starters). We are going to alter their lives forever, and believe me, we don’t take that lightly. And because of it, my husband and I are scared to death.

My kids are so happy right now.  Their lives are going along great.  Will they have seen this life-changing event coming?  No – I don’t think so.  Oh, maybe they might look back on it and in hindsight pick up a clue.  Perhaps they’ll recall overhearing a conversation or two.  But for the most part, they are going to be devastated by the news – and I just hope my husband and I are strong enough to stand it.

2011 will be a year of change.  My husband and I knew this back in 2010.  We didn’t get to this point suddenly – it has been months in the making.  The deep loss when my mom died set it off, but in honesty, it had been brewing long before that.  Things have transpired along the way that now all seem connected (in some strange way) as if this all is meant to be.

We still can’t believe it is happening ourselves.  If you had told this Zen Mama Wannabe a couple years ago that this would happen, I would have told you that you were crazy.  Positively insane.  Never say never, I guess.

Tonight we are going to sit down with our children and tell them the news:  we are leaving California and moving to Connecticut. Oh my – God help us all.

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4 Responses to “Shocking News (A Year of Change – Part 1)”

  1. Margot Says:
    January 17th, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Zen Mama,
    I wish you the best in delivering this message. I wish you the best in the entire process! We have been on the same path and it took months to get the girls to buy in. Too much time to think about the idea, I guess. Moving is not an easy decision, and each day, I have moments of excitement and those of questioning and dread as we take on the same 2011 challenge. Although in the end, as crazy as it seems, the adventure is exciting!

  2. LarkLady Says:
    January 17th, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Focus on the positives and it may go smoother than you think. When we told our kids we were moving, they were about the same ages as your kids are now; each had 2 questions in response to our announcement. The first was the same for both: Will I have my own room in the new house? (They shared a room at that point — and the answer was yes, you’ll have your own room, plus a playroom.) Their second questions were… interesting: the older one asked if there would be sidewalks (turns out she was concerned that she’d have a place to use her beloved skateboard, but it took a few minutes to get to that!). The younger one asked if there would be girls in her class at the new school (she was in a small private school, and almost all the kids in her age group were boys; I didn’t know too much about the new school, but I felt safe in assuring her there would be girls her age!)

    Was there trauma? Of course there was. We moved 75 miles, not across country, but it was still far enough away that in some ways it might as well have been. They were too young to stay in touch with old friends by email, and distance can be a real killer of young relationships. When something went wrong, there was a tendency for them to pout: It wouldn’t have been this way at the old school, old neighborhood, old whatever!

    You’ll get through it, and so will they. And with luck and a lot of patience, they’ll be able to look back on it all as a positive growth experience, not a trauma.

  3. Zen Mama Wannabe Says:
    January 17th, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    I think taking months to get a buy-in is definitely the path that we’re on. There are many positives but they aren’t hearing them — I guess they’re not ready. Yet. Hopefully it will gradually get better. Stay tuned!

  4. Carin Says:
    July 15th, 2011 at 4:48 am

    We’re so happy you came!!!!!

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