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Zen Mama Wannabe » Blog Archive » What do you Remember and Love most about your Mom?
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What do you Remember and Love most about your Mom?

cheeriosWhat do you remember and love most about your mother?

I saw this note posted on one of the message boards I subscribe to and it got me thinking.  It is fun exercise to do both in remembering back to your own childhood and also in terms of the children currently in your life.

We put so much effort into some things….spending obscene amounts of money making sure the birthday party is just right – be it for a 3 year old (seriously) or a Sweet 16 teen, planning the family vacation so it will be enjoyable for the kids, signing up for all the after-school activities they could possibly want to do – and then a few more just to keep them well-rounded and having fun…the list can go on and on.

But when our kids look back, what is it that they will really remember?   The amazing DJ you just had to hire for their party, or snuggling up together on the couch, munching on popcorn and watching The Sound of Music (for the umpteenth time)?  These days it feels like there is never enough time – or money – to get it all done….so what are you making the priority? And are you really focusing on the right thing?

Here is the note from the message board that got me thinking about all this.  It said:

“This was compiled by a longtime teacher and I thought it worthwhile to share. It’s a list of the top ten things students around the world said they remembered and loved most about their mothers.

  1. Come into my bedroom at night, tuck me in and sing me a song. Also tell me stories about when you were little.
  2. Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.
  3. Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.
  4. Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.
  5. At dinner talk about what we could do together on the weekend.
  6. At night talk to me about about anything; love, school, family etc.
  7. Let me play outside a lot.
  8. Cuddle under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
  9. Discipline me. It makes me feel like you care.
  10. Leave special messages in my desk or lunch bag.

Now, what would YOU add?  For this Zen Mama Wannabe, these are two that immediately come to mind:

  • PLAYING WITH ME.  My mom played with me.  Dolls when I was little (mostly while she was doing housework or gardening – she probably didn’t “play” all that much, but did it in a way where I felt she was – it was wonderful), card games and board games when I was older.  And of course a lot of reading to me.
  • Baking me a Half-Birthday cake for my half birthday.  (We all know how important half birthdays at that age.  You’re not 9, you are 9 and a half, or 9 and three-quarters.  But never just 9.)  She only did this once or twice but I remember thinking it was the BEST. THING. EVER.

What I think all this shows is how IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS that mean the most.  If we could just remember this when dealing and interacting with the kids in our lives…nieces, nephews, grandkids, godchildren, and yes – our own children.  To share a connection, to let a child know that you really see them…those are the gifts that are truly loved and remembered.

It reminds me of the Oprah Cheerio moment.  You have heard the touching story, right?  How the mother who was battling cancer (and rapidly losing the fight) decided to take her kids on all these amazing trips during the time she had left.  Disney World, playing by the pool in Palm Springs, etc.  Obviously, a lot of time, money and effort went into this.  Yet, it wasn’t any of those things that the kids spoke of to Oprah when remembering their mom after she had died.  When asked what their favorite moment was with their mom from that last year, it was getting up and sharing a bowl of Cheerios with her at 2am.  (A simple bowl of cereal plus special time with their mother equaled the best gift of all.)

What our kids want most is simply us.  How ironic that it is something that doesn’t need to cost a cent.  Good to think about the next time you’re planning an activity and stressing over trying to make it all work.  Just remember the Cheerios. Puts it all into perspective, don’t you think?

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