Simple Sundays
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
What is your favorite day of the week? Maybe Friday, with the anticipation (or relief) of the weekend approaching? Monday perhaps, with all its promise for a new and hopefully better week ahead? Or Saturday, with the possibility of freedom to do as you please without being ruled by an alarm clock or schedule? Did you favor a certain day as a child? And if so, do you find the day(s) to be the same or different day now all these years later?
“..she loved Sundays – the way they all lingered at the table, her parents telling stories of …the funny things people said and did. …on and on they went until everyone was hungry again, sandwiching bacon between leftover biscuits and drinking down the rest of the lukewarm juice for lunch.”
- from Carry Yourself Back to Me
Sundays were like that for me growing up. There was a routine to Sundays that I came to know and depend on. I look back on it now almost enviously, wishing I could emulate it for my own family.
Like many families, Sunday mornings meant church. My mom was a faithful participant at the 10am service at our local Episcopal Church. When I was young I went with her; when I was older I stayed home and gratefully slept in. The vibration of garage door rising would shake my room a bit as her car pulled out always by 9:45am. By 12:30pm when it popped up again, I would be downstairs in the kitchen, casually dressed and seated around the table with my father, the Sunday paper disseminated into all its many sections around us.
There were my older teenage years where I had nothing to say to my dad and welcomed the distraction of the newsprint. There were later years where he and I got nothing read, our in-depth conversations keeping us from doing more than glancing at a headline.
The atmosphere would always change as soon as my mom’s heels clicked on the linoleum floor. An apron was whisked on over her church clothes. Brunch was soon served – casual, no fuss, but filling and comforting in its own way. The smell of maple syrup always remained in the air long after the dishes were done, a comforting reminder that stayed with me long into the afternoon.
My parents would then start up their crossword puzzle routine – my mom always asking my dad if he had finished the thing up for her while she was gone, knowing quite well he would never dare. Soon she was caught up in 14 across and 23 down. My dad remained there at the table, available to assist as needed – and although she held the pen, it was somehow a shared activity – just as some couples share a decadent dessert or a good bottle of wine.
There was a quiet rhythm to the day, one I find so lacking in my life now as a mom. There is something about “…lingering at the table” that is so comforting, so soothing in this current, busy time. How do you create that for yourself, your children, this Zen Mama Wannabe wonders while trying to juggle fall ball games and birthday parties and friend and family get-togethers?
Is it balance I seek, or merely a return to a time that was far more simple – where cell phones didn’t ring, or email programs beep and the phrase “24-7” didn’t exist. I so long for the time to sip coffee while sitting down (think I got to do that once last week) and peruse the Sunday paper at leisure. To not feel ruled by the clock and the constant shout out of how much longer we have until we’re leaving, heading out the door for yet the next event or activity.
“It’s Sunday. This is what Declan will remember when he’s grown. Days just like this, with music layered through the smell of cooked meat and bread and cake…his parents laughing around a farm table…”
Yes, I wonder, what will MY children remember? What about yours?
* * * * *
This post was inspired by Deborah Reed’s debut novel Carry Yourself Back to Me which follows heartbroken singer-songwriter Annie Walsh as she digs into the past to exonerate her brother from murder. As a member of From Left to Write book club, I received a copy of this book for review. You can read other members posts inspired by Carry Yourself Back to Me on book club day, October 4 at From Left to Write.
Why Can’t We Have it All?
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
Why do we put limits on ourselves as though there is no way we can get what we REALLY want and who do we think we are for asking for it all anyway? Is it wrong to us to expect certain things to just work out? After all, why shouldn’t they? Why can’t things fall into place effortlessly in our lives? Why is our expectation so often the opposite? Yes, why indeed?
When one talks of moving to a new place, one of the first things to do is to find a place to live. We did that – and may I mention that it truly seemed to fall into place. A lovely house, almost completely remodeled – practically new. It had just about everything on my list of what I wanted in a house, and certainly ALL the major points that would have been deal breakers otherwise (big yard for the kids, nice office space for my…
Back in Time for a Do-Over?
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
If you could go back in time to one particular day and do things differently, what day would you choose to change?
A book I just read reminded me of the question my son asked me one day after school, which really had made me pause. I was about to give him my standard answer of how I try to live my life with no regrets, but then I started thinking. There are many things I look back on and grimace. Did I REALLY do that, say that, behave that way? A do-over…would I take it? Would you?
“I know what you’d say,” he told me. He was tired of waiting as this Zen Mama Wannabe revisited memories from a long time ago. ”You do??” Believe me, he actually had no idea, but I was curious to hear what he had come up with.
“You’d go back to the day Grandma died. You would make it so you…
Lunch in Paris – in another Lifetime
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
In another lifetime, I decide to go to Europe upon graduating from college. In another lifetime, I have kept up with my high school French and can follow (understand) a real French conversation – instead of just catching a chance word here or there. In another lifetime, I am not the squeamish vegetarian I am today, and instead enjoy a variety of foods such as foie gras, cassoulet, and andouillette. In another lifetime, while enjoying my exciting Parisian life, I meet a sweet, handsome Frenchman (as wonderful as my American one is today, but one who says my name in that caressing French way that makes me melt every time I hear it) who sweeps me off my feet and adores everything about me (well, almost everything – no one’s perfect – not even in this fantasy of mine).
But alas, this was not the path I chose in THIS lifetime, and although I have no regrets, I do…
You Get What You Expect – so what do you expect?
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
Why do we put limits on ourselves as though there is no way we can get what we REALLY want and who do we think we are for asking for it all anyway? Is it wrong to us to expect certain things to just work out? After all, why shouldn’t they? You know, smooth sailing ahead. Why can’t things fall into place effortlessly in our lives? Why is our expectation so often the opposite? Yes, why indeed?
When one talks of moving to a new place, one of the first things to do is to find a place to live. We did that – and may I mention that it truly seemed to fall into place. A lovely house, almost completely remodeled – practically new. It had just about everything on my list of what I wanted in a house, and certainly ALL the major points that would have been deal breakers otherwise (big yard for the kids, nice…
Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
Know any kids who have a tendency to say mean or unthoughtful things to their peers on occasion? Familiar with any siblings who just HAVE to get out that zinger of a stinger, as if putting the other down builds him or her up? If your frustration is building because of the constant verbal jabs flying around you, then you might be interested in something I stumbled upon; one simple concept (a bucket) that might just be your lifesaver!
The concept comes from the best-selling children’s book, “Have you Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids.” Don’t let the kid part fool you – they say this book is for ages 4-9, but truly this book is for EVERYBODY. It’s easy to understand, simple to do, and it really works! In my current chaotic, busy life, that is music to this…
Does it take a tragedy to make people behave better?
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
Not a scene from Washington – at least not yet!
Does it take a tragedy like the Tucson shootings to make people start behaving better? It’s been so discouraging recently seeing our elected officials acting like petulant children in Congress, stomping their feet (and holding news conferences) whenever they don’t get their way, and resorting to name-calling worse than any playground in America. It’s as though they don’t want to REALLY solve problems but merely stonewall their opponents. What about coming together for the greater good? Apparently until recently that cause was long forgotten. But maybe, now – after the horrible tragedy in Tucson – we have an opportunity.
I came across this meditation/prayer again via Mimi Doe and her Spiritual Parenting Newsletter. Imagine if we said it once a day for 30 days – I wonder what would happen? I wonder how we’d feel? I wonder if we, collectively, could help with…
Having the Guts to Move
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
“Ok, I get the fact that you’re moving,” one friend said to me. “But to Connecticut?? It’s as if you closed your eyes and threw a dart at a map of the United States.” “Wow!” said another acquaintance, “I could never do that, to just pack up and move across the country. I wouldn’t have the guts.”
Ah yes, having the guts. I remember back when I graduated from college and was thinking about making my first “big” move – out to Colorado. At 23, it sounded like quite the adventure. It was as though I could picture my life if I stayed in Southern California (the job/career, the good friends, the eventual husband and kids and house in the suburbs where all houses looked the same) and the thought stifled me to my inner core. Sure, it sounded like a fine life – it just didn’t sound like an exciting life. I didn’t want to look back at age…
How the Kids Handled the News (A Year of Change – Part 2)
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
The tears came much sooner than I had been expecting. As soon as they heard the opening paragraph of my much-thought-about somewhat-prepared announcement, the question was blurted out: “You mean we’re moving??” I had barely got the “s” of Yes out of my mouth before my Little One burst into sobs. Hmm – not quite what I had hoped.
My son immediately took over, drilling us with questions, his brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of it. Working hard at answering what he threw at us distracted me enough that I didn’t notice how his eyes were watering as he struggled to hold it all together – for as long as he could. Was this our rock bottom? I didn’t have to wonder for long – the answer was pretty clear: Nope, not yet – as bad as it is, we still have a ways to go.
The conversation has continued, on and off for over a day…
Shocking News (A Year of Change – Part 1)
Posted by Zen Mama Wannabe
With heavy hearts, my husband and I are going to sit down with our kids tonight and tell them what will be very shocking news. No matter that this is as common as ever in our country, no matter that they personally know at least a handful of kids who have recently experienced this, no matter that we are doing this for all the “right” reasons, they are going to be shocked, heart broken and dismayed (and that’s just for starters). We are going to alter their lives forever, and believe me, we don’t take that lightly. And because of it, my husband and I are scared to death.
My kids are so happy right now. Their lives are going along great. Will they have seen this life-changing event coming? No – I don’t think so. Oh, maybe they might look back on it and in hindsight pick up a clue. Perhaps they’ll recall overhearing a conversation or two. But…
